
We all know that when we are at our best we can do absolutely anything. Anything we turn our minds to we can achieve and we have. You will have successes in your life that reflect your focus and the positive mindset you had at that time as well as the motivation for that particular goal, be it a promotion, a fitness goal or an important milestone in a relationship, maybe getting engaged or married. At this time it is more than likely that your self esteem and confidence were good. When you feel this way no challenge is insurmountable and nothing can stop you from attaining that goal.
Unfortunately the opposite is also true. When our self esteem and confidence is low it feels as if everything gets in the way and potentially small obstacles become significant barriers to us reaching our goals and where we want to be. Our motivation suffers and we can give up on pursuing where we want to get to in life. We doubt ourselves, worry and can end up in a vicious circle that spirals downwards instead of taking us to where we need to be.
Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool in dealing with low confidence and self esteem because it accesses the whole of your mind, including , of course, your particularly important subconscious mind. It is all very well me telling your conscious mind to be forgiving and positive and be kinder to you. Your conscious mind will recognise this and depending on your mood either thank me for the good advice or, more likely, think that was pretty cliched stuff and useless...What we need to do is have access to your hugely powerful subconscious mind where your deeper sense of self and identity is rooted and held. In here, buried from your life experiences are comments that teachers made, your parents made, your peers made that will have become a set of narratives about who you are. Let me give you a rather obvious example. At school you were not top of the class in maths. The teacher said that anyone in the group who hadn't finished would be kept behind to complete the work. You became anxious and worried feeling that at some important level you were a "failure" at maths. A narrative started that you compounded each day and each week at school. The narrative was "I am not good at maths." You looked at other students who were better than you and not the ones who were worse every time. It became reinforced and deep rooted. Actually the reality is that there are plenty of people worse at maths than you, millions of them, but you don't look or see them. Your perception and deeply help belief is your narrative that sits deep in your subconscious mind. Now this is one example what if those narratives are "I'm not popular" or "people don't like me" or "I struggle in social situations and am not confident." Potentially these are more life limiting than your beliefs around maths. Hypnotherapy can access that subconscious area of your mind and move you forward.
One of the most powerful things that happens with my clients is that we look towards the future. We look towards the solutions and where you want to go. Once the whole mind, including the subconscious mind, realises that the past is actually gone and can't be changed there is a massive release. This realisation lifts lots of those self limiting narratives. Now we can start to build self confidence and self esteem. Let the past go and look to the future. Where do you want to go next? The mind being what it is. Once you realise where you want to go and have imagined it you can now put in place the steps that you need to do to get there. This is the power of solution focussed therapy. Look to where you want to go. Allow your mind to imagine it. Fantastic. You have taken the first and most important step.
Over a course of sessions. Usually 6 - 12, but sometimes more, we work together on building your confidence and self esteem. What is absolutely critical is that we work looking at the solutions, not dwelling on the problems of the past, and with your whole mind. Each week your confidence and self esteem will increase sometimes just a little bit sometimes in bounds. Guess what? When you are more confident you can do anything. What is it you want to do?
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